How can I stop my brother gambling?

matteo · **Joined:** Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:56 pm **Posts:** 7

My brothers 18, knows it all and has started betting on sports matches. Its only small bets but its every couple of days. Hes just left school and is looking for a job, and all his mates are all betting and losing might I add and hes fully into it thinking hes gona win big.

Im worried he's gona end up in debt and unable to get a job because of the risk he poses.

I cant see any way to make him see the problems it might cause if it gets outa hand.

Hes moved from betting on sports to online poker. I feel totally helpless with this one and dont wana see him fuk up his life.
I know its his life but no-one wants to see him fall

serious answers only please

clem65 · **Joined:** Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:51 am **Posts:** 2

its a hard one ot combat, gambling is so easily addictive it really has to come from themselves to change and acknowledge firstly that they have a problem. One way is to identify how much he spends on it then break it down into how much he wins versus how much he losses. Dont listern to what the gambler says they win and lose as they will always throw it out of context to save face, online gambling sites will have registered transactions tied to his online ID. If he doesnt spend anything and just uses the free online gambling sites where as its just the game for free then let him have his fun but if he spends actually money on the site communicate to him the importance of wasting his money away but it must come from him that it is a problem use reverse psychology as people do not like to be dictated to, and he will need something to replace the gambling otherwise his boredom will just make him go back there. Can also ask him if he does see it as problem to seek a financial manager or budgeting manager, someone who will set a budget for him so he doesnt needlessly waste his money on gambling ( gambling in moderation by setting a budget for it)

ahaziah · **Joined:** Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:56 pm **Posts:** 6

is he any good at online poker? if not, what site does he play at?

and also, sports betting is very stupid, oddsmakers are VERY good at their jobs, he'll likely be a longterm loser

ashburn · **Joined:** Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:56 pm **Posts:** 3

The absolute best way to get him to even consider not gambling at this present time is to have him take a college level course on statistics, preferably one that is targeted to engineers and scientists.

The first thing they taught in my stats class was that statistics was originally used to discuss and get explicit values for the odds of winning. The very next thing they start discussing is "expected value", which is what poker players love to misquote when they are discussing poker games.

If your brother has any intellect at all, once he passes his statistics course, he should learn a very simple rule:

In gambling, the only winner is the House. In the end, he will lose.

As others have said, he will need to learn it himself, but at least this way, he's attending a college course and learning the math behind gambling. And, perhaps, he may decide he really loves the math stuff and get into computer science or stats as a career choice!

Talking about going from negative to positive expected value!

sawyere · **Joined:** Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:36 am **Posts:** 2

Honestly, if he has a gambling problem, there isn't much you can do. Do NOT support his habit by ever lending him money of course..and hint that it bothers you here and there and question it gently, but don't attack him on it. You don't want him to get defensive, but if you are worried, the message may reach him better.

roibin · **Joined:** Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:10 pm **Posts:** 4

I dont think he'll listen to anyone i know its hard but sometimes people have to learn the hard way

fearbhirigh · **Joined:** Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:56 pm **Posts:** 8

he needs to admit hes got a problem first or nothing can be done. Ive lost my boyfriend of 10 years to gambling. He always thought he would win big but never did. He needs to help himself before you can just tell him your there if he needs you.

rufio · **Joined:** Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:12 am **Posts:** 3

Figure out what he wants to do with his life and point him in that direction. Money does not always take you in the right direction.

aberthol · **Joined:** Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:17 pm **Posts:** 5

Have a look at www.GamCare.org.uk
They have allsorts of help & support available, including a forum etc. I've worked as a bookie for over 3 years and know that there is legislation in place to help people with a problem, i.e. Self Exclusion (where you can ask the bookies to bar you from betting with them for a min of 6months)
However this info is no use unless your brother admits his problem and asks for a self exclusion himself, no1 can do it for him. Try just showing him the site, with the stories of other gamblers, and leave him to it. All you can do past that is offer support. Don't nag him, this will probably ensure he keeps on betting just to defy you!!!
Good luck xxx

ercole43 · **Joined:** Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:50 pm **Posts:** 7

do research online for companies that specialize in addictions, either that or let him lose and learn the hard way, its his life and the more you push him the more stubborn he will be, he will do what he wants to do

How can I stop my brother gambling?

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