My boyfriend of almost 5 years has a gambling problem that I have a serious problem with... it's caused us major problems in the past financially, and has gotten progressively worse. We make the the same amount of money, yet, once again, as soon as football season started, he's not had a dime to contribute to any household expenses, and actually owes me hundreds of dollars at this point, not to mention that I'm having to pay all the bills by myself, which is causing me extreme stress. I'm unable to do anything for myself as a result (including even getting a hair cut, or pay my tuition this semester).

I don't know what to do. He has a history of having a gambling problem (blackjack), and has sworn off casinos, after losing quite a bit of money (and even stealing money from his work to finance his 'problem' - which he considers 'ok' because he paid the money back after winning, and it went undetected).

I'm met with lies and extreme hostility when I confront him about this. He SWEARS he's not doing anything but $20-30 on the occasional game (which I know for a fact to be untrue - its more like several hundred dollars a week... at least), and he's betting on multiple games a night.

He keeps promising to repay me, though I have a bad feeling that it's not going to happen. I'm getting further and further in debt, and I feel so lost.

What should I do? We live together, but I can't afford to keep this up. And I really have to wonder what all else he's lying to me about, since he's so comfortable lying to my face about this. He's told me that he's lied in the past because he doesn't want to 'be bitched at'. But really... if you're in a serious relationship, should you be doing things that the other person has such a problem with AT ALL?

Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. I feel so confused.

well first when he asks you for money tell him no. say you don't have it because you are paying all the BILLS. and if he gets angry oh well he will have to get over it. he hasn't been considering your feelings. and if you know his pay dates tell him a few days before he gets paid what his share of the bills are and tell him you can't cover it anymore by yourself. if he can't understand that your household finances and things are more important then a bet you may want to seriously consider moving on. because it seems that this is problem he is aware of but has no intention of truly fixing. at least not right now.

You have a serious problem on your hands. I work in a casino and socialize with compulsive gamblers on a day to day basis. These are sick people. I hope you know that I don't mean that in a mean or disrespectful way. There is some kind of obsession with the feeling you get when you believe you are gonna win or when you do win. Unless he gets help it is only going to get worse. It sounds like he doesn't want to admit that there is a problem and he is very sensitive about the situation. The best thing that you can do is to not enable him. Make him responsible for his part in your household and don't lend him anymore money. As scary as it may be you are gonna have to get tough on him and make sure he believes that you are not gonna carry him any longer. Sad to say that it may not work, things may get worse for him, and you should step away from the situation. Don't feel sorry for him, because he is making his own choices. I know many of the people i deal with have other issues going on in their lives that drive them to gamble in the first place. Maybe if you can identify the source of this need you might be able to figure out why he does what he does. Either way good luck to you. PS Here is a number to call if you need some support or if he decides he wants to get some help- 1-800GAMBLER